b5media.com

Advertise with us

Enjoying this blog? Check out the rest of the Beauty & Style Channel Subscribe to this Feed

Snarkstress

It Pains Me to Shred Eva Longoria…But I Must

by Liberty on March 26th, 2008

Dahlings, I want you to know that I really and truly believe Eva Longoria is one of the hottest tamales in H-wood. She gorgeous, she’s real, she’s fashionable as all hell…usually. But alas, my girl has tripped up, and she’s done it in a big way.

Upon first inspection of this frock, I thought “Ooh, purple. Fun, unexpected. Hoorah!” Then, the daggers in my eyes activated, and began shredding apart Eva’s look at a scary clip. Why? Well…

* The Girls are hiked up at such an unnatural angle, you know she’s got some serious boob-tape going on under there. Youch!

* Because of this odd-cleavage-producing / boring-as-an-informercial neckline (not to mention the lack of shape and details of this dress), Mrs. Parker looks more like she’s stepped out with a fancy-ass purple towel wrapped around her, rather than a funky frock. A sweetheart neckline would’ve helped, as would a dainty necklace or some sort of satin or sparkle at the neckline.

* Finally, the gold shoes. I’m not sure why these bother me so much, since I’m usually an adamant fan of metallic kicks, but these shoes just look totally out of place. Is it the fact that they’re shockingly golden rather than subtly shimmery? Is it the bow? Is it because the heel’s too short? I’m not sure, but I do know they are the wrong choice for this mess of a dress.

So, now that that’s over, I will be heading off to self-medicate at the bar now. I simply hated shredding Eva, dahlings, but today it just had to be done, yanno?

Tags: , , , , ,

Share This

Related Stories

POSTED IN: Actresses, Dresses, Eva Longoria Parker, Fashion Miss, Hollywood Damsels, Shoes

12 opinions for It Pains Me to Shred Eva Longoria…But I Must

Have an opinion? Leave a comment:




Site Meter
Close
E-mail It