Christina Aguilera: Please Step Away from the Tanning Spray
It’s true, I’m a sucker for Hot Mommies. And Christina Aguilera is no exception. For the most part, she’s doing a lot right here. She’s featuring those New Momma boobies for sure, but is doing so in a refreshingly tasteful way. Her dress, capitalizing on that royal blue fixation H-wood seems to be in the throes of, is flowing around the middle - the perfect disguise for a smooshy post-baby tummy. Her shoes are fab and sassy and her platinum locks show no signs of extraneous rootage - a giant coup for new moms who sometimes forget their hair needs as much TLC as their new bambinos.
The problem then, dahlings? WTF has happened to this girl’s skin? It’s as if she’s making up for all that lost time out of the spray-on salon while she was pregnant. She is far too color-enhanced here and her face looks downright strange. I feel like I’m witnessing a bad 80’s flashback, when tanning booths were all the rage and everyone wore those giant goggles that left raccoon eyes in their wake. Top it off with the ominous smudge of oh-so-wrong blusher on Xtina’s cheeks and - Gah! Not a good look.
Christina, love. We’re glad to have you back and you’re certainly on the right track. Just tone down the tanning goop and you’ll be good to go in no time (btw, Jordan looks pretty decent here, too, although this pose screams “Prom photo!”, does it not?)
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